I shall tell you my most interesting story about being back in Sydney. 

Went out to meet up with my old work friends, at the Shelbourne, nice afternoon so let's sit in the garden. Just 2 gals.
My friend Sandra arrives, looking so great, healthy happy.  Next Carlie shows up. 8months pregnant!
That was my punishment for showing up to Oz for a surprise visit 2 years ago, and showing up to her 30th birthday, making her cry with surprise.
But thats nothing crazy. So Carlie goes home early as she is exhausted. Me & Sandra drink on for old times sakes.
Just two girls having a drink. A guy comes around bludging fags. Sandra obliges.

He comes around again later. Who bludges cigarettes from the same person twice in a night.
That’s tight. She tells him none left.  Later, his mate comes up and says, anyone using that stool?
'No, it’s yours to take away'.  He stumbles off. Back to his table with his mate, and 4 empty stools. 

About 10.30pm, they both come over,  ‘Can we join you ladies?’. As they sat down.  

Great. Girls night to catch up. These are guys, and drunk ones too. Ohwell. We can be polite.

Sandra says, “Well, I'll let these guys keep you entertained while I use the bathroom’. 

So i'm being polite talking about my situation, just back in the country etc.
One guy decides to sit on my friends stool, right next to me. Which I thought was highly intrusive.

But whatever. My friend & I had both our purses on the table, and my mobile phone.

I thought, hmmm, is he up to something, dressed smart casual, yes, but anyone can be a thief. 

Then he gets up, and starts to undo his fly! 
I'm like, please, don't pee in the garden, the bathrooms are just around the other side of the bar.

No, he goes on, and then changes direction, and he is pissing into my friends expensive leather handbag! 
I scream all colourful obscenities at him, and smack him in the face twice.
Not a slap, not proper punch -  girly closed fist, but using the flat side. Bang on the nose. 
Not my best ever violent efforts, I was shocked, and trying to keep and eye on my wallet.

What a prat. His mate just watched, didn’t react.

The pisser legs it, I can't chase as our purses are on the table.

It's one thing to be pissed on, another to lose 2 purses & a phone.  

Stunned.

Welcome back to Sydney.