Goodbye #2

The sun was shining, the birds were singing. And I was off to a funeral.

I was talking to a coworker the other day about death and that I’m fine with older people dying as much as one can be. The pecking order needs to be predictable. Almost that same day, a young man made the choice to leave his family and friends. This wasn't predictable. Today I went to his funeral. I was there particularly to support to his brother.

It’s just under two years since I went to another friends funeral under similar circumstances. It certainly didn’t make it any easier the second time around. Both were 27/28 years old, well loved, quirky, attractive, intelligent, funny, music loving, active people. Both, however, had their grey matter wired incorrectly. Mental illness rears it’s ugly head once more. Often the symptoms are hard to identify. Some take a lot longer to become apparent, especially if you aren’t with someone 24/7. The symptoms and effects of mental illness are most definitely hard to manage – particularly in the case of schizophrenia. Unfortunately, for both of these guys, in their eyes, the cons outweighed life’s positives and they made a very significant and irreversible decision. And acted on this. I certainly hope they are now at peace with themselves.

The funeral was touching. I haven’t enjoyed the last few religious based funerals I’ve been to – too much pomp and ceremony and not enough about the dearly departed. This one was as perfect as I think a funeral can be. The music was beautiful, the readings (in my mind) worth reflecting on and the printed song lyrics especially relevant to the non religious amongst us. I re-read them later on with a few more tears escaping. Most touching were the reflections by those closest to him. They made the crowd smile, laugh and cry.

Now the hardest part begins for his family … whenever and in what ever way we can, we’ll be here to help support you.
xxxxx